I was sitting at home watching Downtown Abbey when my husband called saying that he got out of work early. At the time he worked for the USPS and getting out early was RARELY something that happened. But luckily for us, he did because as he was parking on the street my water broke! I thought I peed myself, but I didn’t obviously, and we called my doctor, grabbed all our things and headed to the hospital.
There were two really challenging aspects of my childbirth:
1. The waiting, I was in labor for 22 hours. We kind of assumed that once my water broke things would maybe pick up, but that did not happen.
2. The pain. Eventually, we made the decision to have a csection. I was happy to make that decision because I went in without a set plan. It was about 20 hours in, I had the epidural for about 8 to 10 hours at that point, but then it stopped working completely. It happened suddenly and out of nowhere.
But I overcame these things because I had my husband. He was so great the entire time. He wouldn’t leave my side, he talked me through every challenge and didn’t give up on me when all I wanted to do was give up myself.
The Push Lab prepared me in two ways:
I was able to create a great birth philosophy. I went in with no set plans, just with ideas of how I wanted things to go. Through this I was able to really accept that whatever happens, happens. When we had the option to wait longer (which would risk infection, be incredibly painful, and risk needing an emergency c-section because of how things were progressing) or have a c-section. I was able to choose the c-section without feeling regret, or like I failed, or any of the feelings that sometimes surround the procedure. I was just ready to meet my baby.
It also really prepared my husband and I. In fact, I found the partner part of the course the most helpful of everything because we were so in tune with each other and my husband had a better idea of what to expect and how to help me. He was able to practice with me before labor and then perfectly execute it with me while everything was happening.
I truly did not expect what it would feel like to have my water break. I thought once it broke, it broke and that was it. One of the most uncomfortable part of the whole experience was the random, constant gushing from my vagina and constantly thinking I may have peed.
Also, in a hospital birth, how much the nurses do!! I couldn’t believe how little I saw a doctor before and after!
This was really all a blur to me and something I’ve struggled with postpartum. I was put under for my c-section so I didn’t get to meet him right after birth and when I was shown him for the first time, I was just coming to. I didn’t hold him for HOURS after it happened. I didn’t feel connection because I also wasn’t breastfeeding. It took a bit to finally feel like a mom.
Prepare with your partner! This is not something that can be done alone. Having someone with you that has your back, makes all the difference. This also counts for after you give birth too! Support is everything!